The Angry, British Box of Tomatoes Fairy
by BittenehmenSiemeinenBruder12
Summary: When brothers Feliciano and Lovino are at risk of having to close their grandpa's restaurant, can the stars of the show Impossible Nightmare Restaurants Francis and Arthur help them turn their fate around? (Yes, I do watch Restaurant Impossible and Kitchen Nightmares, why do you ask? ;) ) Human AU. GerIta, Spamano, and FrUK!
1. We Need Help

Chapter 1: We Need Help

Feliciano gazed despondently around the empty restaurant. It was lunch time, and this was their third week with no customers. If things kept up, he and his brother were going to have to close Grandpa Rome's. Their grandfather had founded the place when he'd first come to the United States and left it to his two grandsons when he'd passed away, to keep it in the family. Feli knew his grandfather would be heartbroken to see the state the place was in. All of the furniture was still original and on its last legs. The walls were peeling and the table clothes were badly in need of replacing. But there was no money to take care of what needed to be done.

A cloud of dark smoke drifted out from the kitchen. Feli glanced at it and sighed. He got up from the booth he'd been sitting in and headed to the back. "Fratello, did you burn something again?" he called. "Mind-a your own business, bastardo!" his brother shouted back. Feli turned away from the kitchen door and flopped down at the bar. Much to both Feli and his brother Lovino's dismay, Lovino had been left in charge of the kitchen while Feli had been left the job of manager. Both of their boyfriends also worked in the restaurant, Lovino's boyfriend Antonio as the head waiter and Feli's boyfriend Ludwig as the bartender.

Feli put his head down on the bar and closed his eyes. The restaurant, his home and livelihood, was collapsing around him. He heard the soft clink of a glass next to his head. Looking up, he saw a small glass of cheap wine. Staring through the golden liquid, he saw Ludwig replacing the wine bottle on the rack. "Thanks Luddi," he muttered, downing the drink. His thoughts wandered to the stories his grandpa told him when he was little, about the fairies who lived in tomato boxes. If you did whatever the fairies asked you to do, all of your problems would solve themselves. He wished. He had never been so in need of a box of tomatoes fairy in all his life. The idea that he would have to close Grandpa Rome's seemed like an impossible nightmare…. Impossible Nightmare… Restaurants? Wasn't that the name of a T.V. show? Feli's eyes widened. "Luddi!" "Hmm?" Ludwig responded, turning from where he had been taking inventory. "Isn't your friend Kiku friends with that guy from that T.V. show Impossible Nightmare Restaurants?" Ludwig nodded. "Yes, what of it?" Feli smiled for the first time in weeks. "What if he's our box of tomatoes fairy, Luddi?" Ludwig looked confused. "I have no idea what you are on about, Feli. But I'll invite Kiku over later if you want to talk to him." "Yay! That's happy." Feli spun off the barstool and skipped off through the restaurant. Now he just had to convince Kiku's friend to help him save Grandpa Rome's!


	2. Will You Help?

**Hello, everyone! I am thrilled to have already gotten such a positive reaction to my first story! Sorry I didn't state it last chapter, but I actually don't own Hetalia. O.o Shocker, that one.**

* * *

Chapter 2: Will you help?

"Ve, Kiku! I'm glad you could make it!" "I am grad to be here. So, Feri-san, what was is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

In the front booth of Grandpa Rome's sat three people: Kiku on the left, Feli and Ludwig on the right. On the table between them sat a pot of coffee, three cups, and a plate of biscotti Feli had whipped up. It was only 3 o'clock in the afternoon, but Feli had already closed up shop; he knew he wasn't going to get any customers. The combination of Feli's incapacity to ensure fast service and Lovino's cooking had ruined the restaurant's reputation.

"You know your friend, the one from England?" asked Feli. "The one from Engrand? Arthur Kirkrand?" responded Kiku. Feli nodded. "That's him. He runs that T.V. show with that French guy, right?" "Yes, why is it you are asking?" Feli gestured around the restaurant with his eyes. Kiku followed him, his eyes widening with acknowledgement. "Oh. Hai, I understand. I'll talk to him." "Vell, I don't understand," Ludwig said, grabbing the coffee pot, pouring three cups and pushing one to each Feli and Kiku, keeping one for himself. Feli passed around the biscotti. "Arigatō," Kiku said, accepting his slice. He held it for a moment, tapping it with his fingers, not quite sure how to eat it. It would certainly break his teeth if he just tried to bite it. He decided to watch how Feliciano ate it. Feli picked up a piece of biscotti and dunked it into his coffee, then bit into it quite easily. Kiku copied him. "Yum! This is very good, Feri-san! Did you make this yourself?" "Si, I did! Do you like it? Feel free to take the rest of it." "Rearry? Arigatō again, Feri-san! Coffee at work is quite boring." "No, thank-_you_! You're going to bring me my box of tomatoes fairy!" Kiku blinked, confused. "I'm sorry?"

Ludwig sighed as Feli passed the plate across the table. "I am not sure either, but Feli keeps going on about how this show will be his fairy, or somezing." "Not just a fairy, Luddi! A box of tomatoes fairy!" "Oh, yes, because that clarifies everything." "It does!" Feli insisted.

Just then, there was a loud crash and a shout from the kitchen. Luddi and Feli glanced at each other. Kiku sensed the change in atmosphere and said, "If you do not mind, I wirr go now. I have a deadrine coming up on my next chapter and it would not do to be rate." "Ja, go ahead, we have to go see what that was, anyways," Ludwig said. "Good luck with your drawings!" Feli called as he and Ludwig disappeared through the kitchen doors. Kiku shook his head as he exited Grandpa Rome's. He hated to even think it, but with a manager as airheaded as Feliciano, the place needed all the help it could get.

* * *

**Now, to answer some questions! The reasons that Lovino is cooking will become clear! Also, there will be hints of Giripan, for those wondering who I put Kiku with! Also, Romano fans, I know he wouldn't really be that bad of a cook! See you all next update!**


	3. Finding Help

**Hello again, everyone! I'm sorry this chapter took so long! It really didn't want to be written. It's my longest chapter yet, so hopefully that kind of makes up for it. I read your suggestions, so with any luck the dialogue is less confusing in this chapter! I'll stop blabbing for now. I still don't own Hetalia.**

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Chapter 3: Getting Help

The street lights cast unusual shadows along the buildings. The soft clinking of the chains of Kiku's bike echoed eerily in the alleys as he passed. It wouldn't have been so scary ordinarily, but Kiku had just moved into the neighborhood and had heard some unsettling rumors about his neighbors, particularly the Russian and his sister who lived a few doors down. It did not help that it was fast approaching midnight.

He finally managed to locate the correct building. He parked his bike in the seventh spot on the rack and locked it. He checked the basket to make sure he hadn't left anything in it, then started up the stairs, searching for his keys. He didn't like working so late, but the meeting at Grandpa Rome's had pushed his schedule back farther than he'd expected it to.

He finally arrived at his floor and stopped walking. The lonely sound of his footsteps ceased to reverberate in the stairwell. He walked through the door onto his floor, closing as quietly as he could behind himself. The hallway was quiet. Creepily quiet.

Out of nowhere, an arm wrapped itself around Kiku's waist and a hand covered his mouth, preventing him from moving or speaking. He felt hot breath on his ear. Then, a voice spoke.

"Welcome home."  
"Hera-kun!" Kiku gasped, his mouth having been freed. "Stop doing that!"

His boyfriend, Herakles, frowned slightly. "It's fun to do that."

"I don't find it so," Kiku said, his heart finally returning to a normal rate.

Herakles muttered an apology and kissed Kiku on the cheek. Kiku blushed, even though he was more than certain they were the only ones in the hallway.

"We should get home," Herakles said, releasing Kiku's waist and taking his hand.

"Why?" Kiku asked as they started to walk.

"The cat is about to have its kittens."

Kiku stopped abruptly and let the information sink in. "What?!" he exclaimed as he took off running, dragging Herakles along behind him. He burst through the unlocked front door (he would have to reprimand Herakles for leaving it that way later) and rushed into the living room. A cat lying on a towel in to corner meowed and blinked up at him.

"I said about to, not is," said Herakles, panting slightly.

"Oh," Kiku said. He pondered for a moment. "Werr, in that case, I need to make a phone carr."

"Alright," agreed Herakles. "I'll call you if anything happens."

Kiku nodded, then crossed the living room and entered the study. He pulled out his cell phone and started scrolling through his contacts. After a very short time, he stopped and pressed call. He put the phone to his ear and listened to it ring. Once, twice-

"Arthur Kirkland speaking."

"Herro, Arthur. This is Kiku. I hope I am not inconveniencing you by carring at this time."

"No, no, not at all, old chap! How are you? It's been far too long since we last talked."

"I am doing werr. How is your T.V. show doing?"

"Quite brilliantly, I must say! Actually, we're looking for a place to film a new episode."

Kiku smiled softly into the phone. "Werr, would you be open to a suggestion?"

"You have a place for us, Kiku? Tell me!"

Kiku nodded, then remembered Arthur couldn't see him. "Hai. A friend of mine was reft a restaurant when his grandfather passed away. However, he has been unabre to keep up with it, and he has rost arr his customers…"

There was a long silence on the other end. "…Bloody hell that sounds perfect. Oi, Francis! Get your lazy arse over here and listen to this!" Arthur shouted. Then, more quietly, he said, "Kiku, I'm going to put you on speaker phone, is that okay?"

"Yes, that's fine. Francis, is he the one from your show?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Hang on, I'll introduce you."

At that moment, another voice appeared on the line.

"Oui, mon cher? What eez it? I was taking a nap and havink a razzer lovely dream about you, and zen you had to wake me up and crash me back into zis harsh reality, why can you not be as sweet to me in real life as in my dreams~?"

"Shut up, wanker!" Arthur interrupted. " Anyway, Kiku, this frog is Francis Bonnefoy. Francis, this is my good friend, Kiku Honda."

"Kon'nichiwa."

"Enchanté, I am sure. Arzur, surely zis eez not why you woke me up? As lovely as your friend sounds-"

"No," Arthur interrupted him again. "Just shut up a second. Kiku, explain the situation with the restaurant again."

Just as Kiku, opened his mouth to speak, a loud yowling sound rand through the air and Herakles yelled, "Kiku!"

"Honhonhonhon~… Eet seems zat we are interrupting somzing~…"

Kiku flushed bright red. "No! It is nothing rike that! My cat is having kittens!"

But Francis continued,"Do not deny eet, mon ami, love iz one of ze-"

"Shut up, git," Arthur interjected. "Kiku, you go take care of whatever you need to do. I'll call you later to talk more about the restaurant."

"Arigatō, Arthur. Goodbye." Kiku hung up the phone and ran back to the living room to help Herakles.

* * *

**So, that's that! Random cats are to be expected when Herakles is involved. :) I hope I got Francis right... See you all next time! **


	4. Help Arrives

**Hey guys! Exams were killer, and now here comes summer reading! _The Grapes of Wrath _is boring me to death! Here's chapter 4. Hope you enjoy! Here comes Spamano! **

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Help Arrives

"Are you sure this is it?"

"Oui, mon cher. Or do you zink I am so inept zat I cannot work a GPS?"

Arthur sighed and squinted up at the decrepit building he and Francis were standing in front of. "It's not that, it's just… I can't… read this bloody sign."

Arthur and Francis stood on the sidewalk of the restaurant district with a 3-man camera crew. Kiku had promised to meet them in front of Grandpa Rome's which, according to the GPS, they were currently standing in front of. The GPS had told them it was the building on the left side of the street, but now, standing in front of it, they weren't so sure…

"Umm… Arthur-kun? Why are you staring at this warehouse?"

Arthur and Francis spun around to be faced with an utterly bemused Kiku.

"You're telling me this isn't the building, Kiku?" Arthur asked.

Kiku shook his head. "No. It's that one, over there."

He gestured with his head to the building behind himself. Both Arthur and Francis looked over at it. The building across the street was a red brick façade with old bottle bottom glass windows. A wooden sign with peeling paint above the door read "Grandpa Rome's" in curly green letters. Arthur and Francis glanced at each other for a moment.

"I told you you got it wrong, you bloody frog!"

"If you had not put moi een charge of ze GPS-!"

"I had to drive because you can't, so that left you with the-!"

"I can too drive; You just have to drive like my grandmozer!"

"Ve~, Kiku! Are they here yet?"

A young man poked his head out of the door to the restaurant. Upon seeing Arthur, his eyes widened. The camera crew noticed him and started rolling. Arthur noticed him and quickly recovered from his argument with Francis. Brushing himself off, looked over at the man in the door.

"Hello, there! Are you the owner- oof!"

Arthur was interrupted as the man ran forward and hugged him.

"Oi! Get the bloody hell off me!" he yelped.

"Tomato fairy! You're here!" The man shouted excitedly. Francis watched with amusement as Arthur struggled to remove the man from his person. Kiku, clearly embarrassed, cleared his throat.

"Umm, Feli-kun…"

At that moment, a man very similar in looks to the first burst out of the restaurant.

"Oi, bastardo! What did I tell you about fucking hugging people you don't fucking know?!"

"Lovi~!" The first man, whose name was apparently Feli, stopped hugging Arthur and ran to glomp Lovi instead. "Our tomato fairy's here, Lovi!"

"Stupido, what the fuck does that even mean? Let go of me, dammit!"

Another man exited the building. He appeared to be unrelated to the first two.

"What are you shouting about, mi corazon?"

"Antonio~!" Feli let go of Lovi to go glomp the newcomer. To Arthur, Lovi said, "I'm sorry about my stupid brother. He has no concept of personal space."

"Apology accepted," Arthur said, but he noticed that Lovi was not looking at him, but was instead glaring at his brother as he hugged Antonio. Antonio seemed to have noticed this too, because he tapped Feli on the shoulder and said, "Feli, you can let go now. I think you're making Lovi jealous."

Feli stopped hugging Antonio, but continued chattering excitedly.

Lovi promptly turned bright red and yelled, "What the fuck?! Jealous?! No way in hell was I jealous, you stupid bastard!"

"Aww, Lovi~! You look just like un tomate!"

"Shut up! No I don't! Hey! What do you think you're doing?! Don't you dare hug me Antonio Fernandez-Car- oh, fuck."

The door opened a fourth time and another man stepped out, his blonde hair a stark contrast to that of the three brunets who had preceded him. "Vat on earth are you Dummköpfe yelling about?"

As was now the established pattern, Feli ran to hug him.

"Luddy! Luddy, it's fantastico! La nostra scatola di pomodori fata è qui! La nostra scatola di pomodori fata è qui! Non sei felice? Sono emozionata! Questo sarà incredibile! Che sarà lui a salvare il nostro ristorante!"

"Feliciano, you know full vell that I don't speak nearly enough Italienisch to follow you. Stoppen Sie bitte mich umarmt."

Feliciano stopped hugging him, but continued to clench the blonde man's arm tightly. Said man glanced over the scene in front of him, then turned to Arthur.

"Vell, I suppose ve've given you quite ze opening."

Arthur glanced over at his cameraman, who gave him a thumbs-up. He'd caught everything. Arthur chuckled slightly. "I suppose you're right, Mr.-?"

"Beilschmidt, Ludwig Beilschmidt." Ludwig sighed and shook his head. "Vell, I suppose you'd better come inside."

"Don't mind if we do."

With that, they all entered the building, with many "You first"s and "Oh, no, after you"s and "Ve~"s and "Get off me!"s and "Ohohnhonhon~!"s.

* * *

**So, what'd you think?** **Translations! **

**mi corazon- my heart**

**Dummköpfe- The proper pluralization of Dummkopf**

**La nostra scatola di pomodori fata è qui! - Our box of tomato's fairy is here! **

**Non sei felice? Sono emozionata! - Aren't you excited? I'm excited! **

** Questo sarà incredibile! Che sarà lui a salvare il nostro ristorante! - This is amazing! He's going to save our restaurant! **

**Italienisch - German for Italian **

**Stoppen Sie bitte mich umarmt - Please stop hugging me. **

**Feel free to correct my Italian! Next chapter will get into the reasons why Lovino's cooking! **


	5. Help Begins

**Hello again! This is going to be my last chapter for a while; I'm going to Canada! I'll post again as soon as I get back. I'm hoping to have a bit of time to write while I'm there, so maybe I'll have more regular updates once I get back! Enjoy the chapter (and the bitty GerIta moment)! I haven't owned Hetalia this entire time and still don't. :( **

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Chapter 5: Help Begins

After formal introductions were out of the way and Kiku had excused himself to go to work, Francis and Arthur requested that the staff behave as though they were normal customers. Ludwig and Lovino had no problems with this request, Ludwig because he was very good at following instructions and Lovino because his job required him to be in a different room from the two T.V. stars. Feliciano and Antonio, on the other hand, were having a very difficult time complying with these directions. Feliciano was at the back of the dining room near the bar, switching constantly between pacing and leaning against the wall in failed nonchalance. At the other end of the spectrum of disobedience, Antonio was thoroughly over-excited as he seated Francis and Arthur. The camera crew followed him, one filming while the other two started to set up equipment.

"Oh, wow! You're really here! Feli said you would be, but I didn't really believe him, but now you're here, so I do! I'm so glad; my Lovi has been so worried about the restaurant. He doesn't say that kind of thing out loud, but I can tell. Here's your table. Oh, you want menus, don't you? Here you go. Drinks! What would you like to drink?"

"Just water thanks, for both of us." Arthur said quickly.

Antonio scribbled down the order and said ,"¡De acuerdo! Take a moment to look over the menu, I'll be right back."  
He hurried into the kitchen to fill the drink orders.

"Rather talkative fellow, isn't he?" quipped Arthur.

"Oui. Eet would also appear zat he ees ze only waiter," stated Francis.

Arthur quickly glanced around the dining room. "I do believe you're right."

A brief moment of silence passed as both looked over their menus. Then Francis spoke again. "Zhey are a razzer cute couple, are zhey not?"

Arthur glanced over at him. "Who?"

Francis nodded to the back of the dining room where Feli was now sitting at the bar. Ludwig was talking to him in a low voice. He patted Feli on the head, then started cleaning the already impeccable bar. Feli put his face in his hands, the way a bored schoolboy would. Arthur looked between them and Francis.

"For a couple, they certainly don't act very affectionate."

Francis sighed at Arthur. "Mon cher, 'ow can you still be so naïve? Do you honestly expect un Allemand to be publicly affectionate, even eef ee's partner ez un Italien?" Francis shook his head. "You have much to learn in ze ways of love, mon cher."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Do remind me to study when we get home. In the meantime, what are you planning to order?"

"¡Gran oportunidad! Exactly the question I was about to ask!" Antonio said, reappearing with their waters. He placed one in front of each of the men and pulled his notepad from his apron. "Now then, what would you like?"

Arthur decided to start. "For an appetizer, I'll try the bruschetta, and for my main course, I'll try the lasagna."

"Zut, I was going to 'ave ze lasagna. Oh bien. I will 'ave ze antipasto zalad, zhen ze spaggeti."

Antonio hurriedly wrote down the orders. "Thank you! Your appetizers will be out in a moment." He hurried back to the kitchen. Francis picked up his glass of water.

"Well, ze glasses are certainly clean enough."

Arthur took a sip from his. "No doubt that's Ludwig's job."

Ludwig, having now finished cleaning the counter, was indeed cleaning the glasses.

As they waited for their food, they continued their typical small talk that they held while on camera, discussing things like the water quality and the old fashioned decor, the worn-out table clothes and lack of bread basket.

"I mean, really, when one goes to an Italian restaurant, one expects to have a basket of rolls sitting on the table."

"I do agree, mon cher."

* * *

Feli, no longer able to stomach listening to the two, exited the dining room and entered his office. This did nothing to help his stress levels. Piles of papers were everywhere, reminding him of his unpaid bills and debts. He sat in his chair, staring at a picture on his desk of himself, his grandfather, and his brother. He sighed.

"Nonno, perché sono io il responsabile?"

Obviously, the picture didn't answer.

* * *

Back out in the dining hall, Antonio returned with the appetizers. After placing them on the table, he quickly retreated to the kitchen, as though afraid to hear what they were going to say.

"This is burnt."

"As zhough you 'ave any right to complain."

"Ha ha. When I go out to a restaurant, I expect to get better results than I could achieve at home."

"Oui. Zhis mozzarella tastes store-bought, and zhis lettuce ez a bit wilted."

"Alright, I'm done with mine. Ready for the main course?"

"Pas vraiment."

* * *

Feli heard knocking on his door. "Come in," he called. Ludwig opened the door and quickly shut it behind him.

"Feli, are you all right? You don't usually like to hide out in here."

Feli continued to stare at the picture on his desk. He felt tears forming in his eyes and, knowing he could do nothing to stop them, let them fall. Ludwig noticed.

"…Feli?"

Feli stood up and flung himself at Ludwig, who caught him. Ludwig held Feli tightly while he sobbed miserably into his shoulder.

"Luddy, è terribile! They're being so mean about everything! I don't have any money to fix the things they're talking about! I'm out of money already! And now I've borrowed money-" Feli stopped talking. He felt Ludwig stiffen. He quickly backed away from Ludwig.

"Feli?" Ludwig asked quietly.

"Mi dispiace! Mi dispiace Ludwig! I know what you said about borrowing money, but I had to pay the bills and then the sink broke and we had to fix it-"

"How much did you borrow?" Ludwig asked, maintaining his quiet, angry tone.

Feli started to shake. When Ludwig got all quiet like that, it meant he was about to start shouting. He took a deep breath and said, "T-two hundred from F-Feliks…"

Ludwig stared at him in disbelief for a moment. Then, to Feli's amazement, he burst out laughing. He laughed for a good minute before choking out, "You had me worried zhere! Vhen I said don't borrow money, I meant don't ask the bank! Ve can pay Feliks back anytime."

Feli stopped shaking, but remained worried. "But… Feliks said we have to pay him back soon, 'cause it's his shopping money…"

Ludwig laughed again, more lightly this time, before pulling Feli into a gentle kiss. He pulled back and held him in a hug. "Feli, let's be honest here: I think Feliks could use a couple weeks without his shopping money, don't you?"

Feli smiled weakly. "I suppose you're right, Luddy." They stood together in the hug for another minute. Then Ludwig said, "It's just about lunch time. Are you ready for lunch?"

Feliciano cheered up immediately. "Si! I brought us some leftover pasta from last night! I'll go heat it up, okay?"

Feli bounded out of the office. Ludwig watched him go, then shook his head. "Really, Liebe, you were worried about 200 dollars? If anything, I think they're going to be impressed by your lack of debt. Though, that is mostly my doing, isn't it?" he muttered to himself.

* * *

The room next to the office was the break room, and it was into here that Feli went. He skipped over to the fridge, then danced over to the microwave. He felt so much better now that he wasn't keeping that secret from Ludwig, though it seemed he hadn't really had anything to worry about in the first place. He set the pasta on for two minutes, then sat down in a chair and tapped his fingers on the arm impatiently. As soon as it beeped, he jumped up to retrieve the now warm pasta. He put it into a bowl and left the break room to find Ludwig. He was no longer in the office. He wasn't behind the bar. He wasn't anywhere else in the dining room. They only other place he could be was in the kitchen, but Feli couldn't dream why he would be there.

He entered the kitchen, steaming bowl of pasta in hand. "Fratello, have you seen Luddy?"

"Yeah, I have. The potato bastard's taking out the trash. Now leave me alone, I'm busy."

"Grazie, Fratello!" Feli put the bowl down on the counter and skipped out the back door to find Ludwig.

* * *

Antonio entered the kitchen. "I don't think they liked the food, mi amor."

"Shut up, bastard!" Lovino very nearly threw a plate of slightly burned lasagna on the counter. Seeing that there were two plates of food on the counter, Antonio picked them up. "The spaghetti looks good, Lovi."

"Shut up and get out!" Lovino screamed. Antonio took the plates and exited the kitchen. Lovino rolled his eyes and turned back to the stove where the spaghetti was cooking. He immediately turned back to the door.

"Wait, Toni! What spaghetti?"

* * *

Francis and Arthur stopped talking as Antonio returned with their main course. Same as before, Antonio placed their food in front of them before quickly withdrawing to the back of the restaurant. Arthur looked at his plate and sighed.

"Are they purposefully burning all of my food?"

"You know, zis spaghetti doesn't look half bad."

"Well, here goes nothing," Arthur said. Both picked up their forks and took a small bite of their food.

"Blech! Far too much garlic."

Francis said nothing. He was chewing thoughtfully.

"Francis? Is it that bad? You aren't normally speechless."

Francis shook his head. "Non, nothing like zat. I 'aven't had spaghetti zat good since ze last time I was in Italy."

Arthur stared at him. "Surely you're joking?"

"Non, mon amor! Try it yourself!"

Arthur carefully took a small bite of pasta from Francis' plate. "My god, you weren't joking. This is absolutely brilliant."

* * *

Ludwig and Feliciano reentered the kitchen through the back door. Feli bounded over to the counter, then started looking around. "Fratello, have you seen my lunch? I left it right here."

Lovino looked over at him, somewhat nervously. "Umm… What was your lunch?"

Feli looked back, confused. "Just some normal pasta. Why?"

Lovino pointed at the double doors leading to the dining room. "I think Antonio just walked out with it."

The three stared at the door, just in time for Antonio to walk back through it. He looked at each of their faces with concern. "What's wrong?"

Lovino gulped, then answered him. "Toni… that plate you just took to the dining room?"

Antonio narrowed his eyes. "¿Si?

"…That was Feli's lunch."

Antonio stared at him in horror. A second passed. Then, as though by some unspoken resolve, all four ran through the door and into the dining room.

* * *

Francis and Arthur were thoroughly enjoying the spaghetti, the slightly burned lasagna pushed to the side and forgotten. They were arguing over who would get the last bite when they caught sight of the four running towards them.

"Stop!" yelled Feli. "Stop! Stop!"

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. "What is it?"

The four men arrived at the table. Feli stared despondently down at the plate in front of them. "That was my lunch."

"Pardon?"

"That was my lunch! I brought leftovers from my dinner last night and reheated it in the microwave!"

Arthur squinted at him for a moment before looking at Lovino.

"I have a question: If his day-old, microwaved pasta still tastes this good, why are you the chef?"

* * *

**So, Arthur's finally getting to the root of the problems! Translations! **

**¡De acuerdo! - Sort of along the lines of "Roger that!" **

**un Allemand - a German **

**un Italien - an Italian **

**¡Gran oportunidad! - Great timing! **

**Nonno, perché sono io il responsabile? - Grandpa, why'd you put me in charge? **

**Pas vraiment. - Not really. **

**è terribile! - It's terrible!**

**Mi dispiace! - I'm sorry! **

**Liebe - Love **

**Grazie, Fratello - Thanks, Brother **

**mi amor - my love **

**I didn't translate some of the more obvious ones. See you when I see you!**

**And yes, Francis and Arthur were being douches on purpose. ;) **


	6. A Helpful Hint

**Back from Canada! Didn't get as much writing done as I'd hoped, there was just too much to see. I'm still going to try to make more regular updates, though. I'm aiming for at least one a week. This chapter is shorter than I had hoped, but I had to rewrite it three times; Lovi kept getting too angsty. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 6: A Helpful Hint

"I have a question: If his day-old, microwaved pasta still tastes this good, why are you the chef?"

The question was met with silence. Feli looked down at his feet. Lovino rolled his eyes and crossed his arms with a huff. Arthur looked from one brother to the other, waiting. Then Ludwig cleared his throat.

"Actually, Feli, I've been wondering the same thing for a while now. You whip up sehr delikat pasta at home in no time flat. Why don't you do that here?"

Feli was silent for a moment longer. At long last, he whispered, "Nonno."

Arthur snorted derisively. "For God's sake, man, use your grownup words! And it's most certainly not a no-no."

Lovino scoffed and, ignoring Arthur, launched into speech.

"Stupido, Nonno was senile when he wrote that will!"

"No he wasn't, the lawyer said he wasn't!"

"Lawyers are paid to do that!"

"The doctor also said-"

"Well then he was just stupid. Nonno was always crazy, but giving me the kitchen might be the stupidest thing he ever did!"

"Don't talk about Nonno like that!"

"Oh, 'cause he was _so_ perfect! Didn't even have the guts to marry Nonna!"

Feli sniffed dryly. "Well, he took us in, didn't he?"

"'Bout the only good thing he did in his life!"

Feli's eyes welled with tears. "Fratello-"

"Nope! Done talking to you! I don't know why I even listened to Nonno in the first place! Look what his stupidity has done to the restaurant, Feli! This is my place now too, and I am _not _going to let it close down!"

Lovino turned on his heel and stomped off towards the kitchen. At the last second, he turned back and looked at Arthur and Francis.

"As the older brother, I'm making the executive decision here. From now on, Feliciano's the chef and I'm the manager. "

He turned back around and disappeared though the double doors.

A good minutes worth of silence followed his abrupt departure, penetrated only by Feli's sobs. Ludwig quickly pulled him into a hug. Finally, Francis spoke.

"My, my... eez 'e always zat way?"

Antonio grinned weakly. "Si, he is. Excuse me, I should go check on him." And with that, Antonio followed Lovino into the kitchen.

Arthur turned to Ludwig. "So, let me get this straight. When their grandfather left them the place, he assigned them jobs, too?"

Ludwig nodded stiffly." That is correct."

"He made Lovino the cook and Feliciano the manager?"

Ludwig nodded again. "That is correct."

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. "And your telling me that neither of them questioned this decision or thought to just switch jobs later?

Feli's sobs increased in volume. Ludwig simply nodded again. "Also correct."

Arthur stared at him in disbelief. "Any particular reason why?"

Ludwig sighed. "The boys held an awful lot in store by their grandfather. I don't think it would have ever crossed their minds to disobey instructions he'd left for them in black-and-white, no matter the consequences of following them."

Arthur shook his head slowly, but the more he thought about it, the more sense the explanation made. He remembered often misinterpreting his mother's instructions when he was little, but he would follow them through to the end, no matter how silly they seemed. Like the time when she'd told him to go read _in _his room, but he'd thought she'd said to go read _his room_... An interesting story for another time, involving holding a séance and a rather lovely conversation with a ghost...

Ludwig cleared his throat, bringing Arthur back to earth. " If you'll excuse Feli und I as vell? It's been a long day, und I'm going to take him home."

Arthur and Francis watched as the two left.

"Well, zat was certainly dramatique."

"Cut," Arthur said to the film crew. "No kidding. Certainly not the response I'd expected to the question. "

"Indeed, mon amor. Alzhough, eef zhings keep up, eet will make for an exciting episode, non?"

"Hmm, quite. If we can actually turn this place around. I don't think we've ever had a place with absolutely no customers, have we?"

"Not zat I can remember."

Arthur sighed. "And we haven't even started talking about money yet. Dear lord, the debts they must have-" Arthur shuddered. "Don't even want to think about it. Alright, chaps, we're done for the day, back to the hotel-" He glanced at his watch and started. "Goodness, is it really only two? What time did we get here?"

A member of the camera crew spoke up. "10:00, sir."

"Really? How is it one of my shortest work days has also proved to be one of the most exhausting?"

"I don't know, sir," said the crew member before continuing to pack the cameras away.

Arthur glared at the man, took a deep breath, then rolled his eyes, muttering about rhetorical questions and idiots. Then he got up from his seat and headed towards the front door, motioning for Francis to follow him.

"Come on. We'll figure something out tomorrow."

Francis walked after him. "Eef you say so, mon cher."

They exited the restaurant and headed for their car, which was still on the opposite side of the street. As they walked, they passed Ludwig and Feliciano . Ludwig helped Feli into the passenger's side of the car and kissed his forehead before walking around to his own side and getting in the car. They pulled out as Arthur and Francis reached their own car.

As they got in, Arthur said, "Well, I suppose you were right. It would appear that those two are dating." The shadow of an idea crossed his mind. "But then, do you suppose the other two, Antonio and Lovino, are dating as well?"

Francis buckled his seat belt and rolled his eyes. "Seriously, mon amor? Zhey are so obvious zat I did not even bozzer to point zhem out!"

Having nothing else to say, Arthur angrily slammed the car door and sped off to the hotel.

* * *

**Translations**:

sehr delikat - (Literally "Very delicate") implies refined taste, like that kind of food you get at upper end resturants

Nonno - Grandpa

Nonna- Grandma

dramatique - dramatic

**Next chapter's almost all GerIta, with a bit of FrUK thrown in. See y'all then! **


	7. No Help Required

**Seems I can't keep a promise to y'all, doesn't it? Here's the next chapter! GerIta galore, finished with a small amount of FrUK to finnish it off. Enjoy! **

* * *

No Help Required

"Feli?"

*sobs*

"Feli."

*more sobbing*

"Now Feli, really."

*flat out wailing*

Ludwig sighed and put his face in his hands. Feliciano had been sitting in the exact same spot on the couch since the moment they'd gotten home, bawling his eyes out. Ludwig had tried everything: talking to him, shouting at him, singing to him, scolding him, asking Google, WikiAnswers, and the Online Medical Dictionary what to do, telling jokes, turning on a soccer game, making pasta (aka burning some tomato sauce and cook some noodles to mush), but nothing had worked. So now here he sat in the loveseat next to Feli, the half-eaten pasta forgotten on the coffee table (Ludwig wasn't one to leave food uneaten, but even he had to admit it was bad). The feeling in the house was miserable, as though Feli's emotions had imbued themselves to the air surrounding him then spread through the place.

There was one thing Ludwig had yet to try because he really hated to do it. However, it did usually work with Feli. And that thing was begging.

"Feli, _please _tell me what's wrong!" Ludwig nearly whined, barely resisting the urge to slap himself in the face. Nevertheless, he achieved his desired result; for the first time that evening, Feli spoke.

"H-he's right!" he bawled.

"Who's right? Lovino?"

Feli shook his head.

"Who, zhen?"

"The… the… the…"

"Zhe?"

"THE FAIRY!"

Ludwig flinched at the volume of Feli's voice. "You mean Arzur?"

"YES!"

"Err," Ludwig started over Feli's sobs. "Vhat about, exactly?"

"Everything! It's all my fault, Luddy! I ruined the restaurant because I was stubborn and wouldn't switch jobs with Lovi and now we're in debt and the whole place is falling apart and Antonio and Lovi will lose their apartment if we don't start making money soon and it's all because of me!"

Ludwig sighed and shook his head. "Feli, come here."

Still sniffling, Feli stood up. Ludwig reached out and pulled him onto his lap.

"Now, you listen, und listen vell. I remember your Opa. I also recall zhat you were his favorite. Do you know vhy, Feli?"

Feli shook his head. Ludwig gently prodded him in the upper left side of his chest.

"Because you alvays took vhat he said to heart. Now, zhat was all vell und gut vhen you were a child, but you are an adult now, and adults need to make zheir own decisions. Now answer me truthfully: Vhich vould you razzer be, zhe manager or zhe chef?"

Feli sniffed for a moment before whimpering, "Ch-chef…"

Ludwig patted his head. "See? Zhere you go! Lovino made the right decision, and you are going to turn zhe place around in no time! All you have to do is make pasta! Vell, und ozzer zhings, but-"

"Luddy!" Feliciano interrupted. "That's it!"

Ludwig raised an eyebrow. "Vhat is?"

Feliciano had thoroughly stopped crying now and was sitting upright and smiling. "I'll just make pasta!"

"Wirchlich? Und… who do you suppose will make everything else?"

Feli laughed. "No one, silly! We'll make it a pasta bar! I'll make different kinds of pasta and sauces and things to put on them, and people can pay by the plateful!"

Ludwig thought for a moment. "Actually, zhat sounds like a very gut idea."

Feli's grin broadened. He threw his arms around Ludwig's neck.

"We're really gonna do it, Luddy! We're really gonna save the restaurant!"

Ludwig gave a small smile and hugged Feli back. "Vhat did I tell you?"

They sat for a short time in each other's arms, enjoying the hopeful calm that had replaced the previous miserable atmosphere.

"BRRRING! CALL FROM HONDA, KIKU. BRRRING!"

Ludwig sighed and glanced at the wall clock over Feli's shoulder. 5:00. True, they would usually still be at the restaurant right now. Kiku must have come to check on them.

"Sorry, Feli, I really should take zhis. You know how Kiku get vhen zhings don't go exactly to plan. He's probably sitting outside the restaurant right now, freaking out zhat ve got kidnapped or somezhing."

Feli giggled a bit and got up. "Okay, Luddy. I'll go get dinner started. Kiku gave me this recipe for soba noodles I really want to try."

"Go ahead. I'll be in in a minute."

Feli pouted. "Y'know, it'd be nice if you waited until after I finished cooking to clean the kitchen. I'm not that messy."

"But you always-"

"Luddy?"

Ludwig's ears reddened. "Fine. I'll sit in zhe dining room."

Feli laughed again and skipped off to the kitchen while Ludwig crossed the room to answer the phone.

* * *

Moonlight filtered through the poorly drawn curtain of the hotel's penthouse. It reflected softly off the leather couch that was barely visible through the ajar door to the living room. The bedroom was very posh and clean, ignoring a few discarded clothing articles strewn about.

Francis' eyes traced the crown molding that followed the top of the wall through the room and out into the next. His body was screaming for him to sleep, but his mind wasn't listening. He had to tell someone or he would lose it! He sat up and shook Arthur's shoulder.

"Arzur! Arzur, wake up!"

Arthur moan and turned to glare at Francis blearily. "What is it, *yawn* frog? You barely let me go sleep an h-hour ago…"

"Oh, mon amor, do not pretend zat you did not enjoy eet~…"

Arthur, now fully awake, sat up as well. "Shut the bloody hell up! What do you want?!"

"I 'ave 'ad ze most amazink idea, she will not leave me alone! You see, I am zinking zat ze booths should go-"

"Why the hell are you telling me?! Go draw it or something and let me go back to sleep!"

Arthur promptly lay back down and did so.

Francis, on the other hand, quickly got up and grabbed his sketch pad and pencil case. Arthur sat back up when he heard the balcony door open.

"Are you going outside naked?! Put some damn clothes on! You'll get arrested for indecent exposure again, you twat!"

Francis sighed, but threw on a bathrobe to placate Arthur before heading out the door.

* * *

**Translation: **

**Wirchlich- Really **

**See you guys later! Reviews are love! **


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